for whatsina_name

[travelerscurse]

It's so strange, being back.

Ishgard hasn't changed in hundreds of years, strange to think it would have changed since he'd been here last, but then, everywhere else he'd been has changed just in the time he's been there. So it's strange to be walking streets he knows from his childhood but with eyes that are so different.

Beside him, Emmanelain chatters on about the different facets of city life. He had made sure Haurchefant knew to petition his former family with as much discretion as possible. They, of course, had simply said their son had died and they were certain some fugitive from Uldah couldn't be him anyway. He hadn't expected any differently. He feels like that person is dead and he breathes on as someone wholly different anyway, but it's strange, to be being shown around the place he grew up in by a member of one of the High Houses, someone his parents would have killed for him to be friends with just a few short years earlier, as though he were a stranger to this place.

He has always been a stranger to this place.

Dressed in Gridanian fashion and tanned lightly by the sun, he doesn't expect there's anyone here who would recognize him. He'd been barely more than a ghost when he left, hardly a warrior of anything. But as they pass through the Jeweled Croizer and Emmanelain gets caught up talking to some girl he's been trying to woo, there's a sudden, strange sensation at the back of his head, something like and unlike the Echo, and he turns, eyes scanning the busy street for... something. Someone.

(For some reason, unbidden, he remembers the night of the Calamity, giant pieces of some other part of Eorzea raining from the sky..

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[whatsina_name]

Thanatos hums, tilting his head a little as he thinks. "I suppose the second more? But also..."

He goes quiet for a moment to think on his words, laughing a little when Gus lands the cartwheel and winds up exactly where he said he would. Thanatos doesn't try to do anything particularly athletic (seriously, he hates the robes for that) and instead just sort of flops down next to him, tucking an arm under his head.

"Just-- what even isperfect?" he says after a moment, looking at the petals as they slowly float back down, "I suppose here they may have some sort of standard here for their fauna, but what would make the perfect play? The perfect dance? The perfect song?"

He reaches up, catching one of the petals in his hand, gently feeling over the smoothness of it. "And even if they do have those standards, can you imagine handing someone a pretty flower and them not wanting it, because it wasn't perfect?" He lets the petal go, his eyes cast back up to the sky. "I've usually found that what's most beautiful is something that isn't the same as all the rest-- a flower of a brighter hue, a mutation in an bird's plumage, art that makes you feel something you've never felt before..."

None of that is antithetical to their way of life, not really. But it's certainly not really what they look for. Creativity, yes, but with bounds and censure and made to be replicable.

He seems to realize he's gone off a bit and looks over at Gustavain, giving him a bashful smile. "Sorry. You didn't sign up for my musings." And given that his are based on feelings and not formal debate, most people don't particularly like dealing with them.

[travelerscurse]

Gustavain laughs softly and before he can help himself says,

"I feel like you and Hermes would get along," he sobers a moment later, looks up to the sky with a worried expression because... well, how much of this world is actually connected to his? He still hasn't been able to discern if this is all causally linked now after all or not. And even just with a few short days to meet and know him, he realizes only after he says that that he genuinely thinks of Hermes as he is now, even after everything he saw in Hyperboriea. Even now, even knowing, it's hard to summon up any ill-will. He just wished it were possible to reach across the space between people even more easily than he's always seemed to.

He turns his thoughts from that, puts it aside the same way he does a lot of things, to be looked at later, and holds his hand up to the sun, letting the light fall through his fingers while he concentrates on the now.

"It's hard to fault someone for striving for an ideal," he points out, "or for wanting to create something worthy of accolades and helpful to ones fellow man, both. If the perfection your peers are striving for is absolute perfection, then I think you're right-- the interest in perfection there is more the pursuit of the perfection than the finished object and the finished object is... a bit boring, I'd say. But there's also perfection in the eyes of the creator. Perhaps a flaw is deliberately introduced for a reason. Then the object would still be "perfect" in that it adhered to the ideals of it's creator precisely how it's creator intended."

He looks over at Thanatos, partially through the flowers, smiles,

"But even that wouldn't account for art, music. There's beauty in the technical execution of things, but even a piece that was played the same way every time would incite different emotions in the listener. As soon as there's any subjectivity in interpretation, 'perfection' seems like a ridiculous concept."

[whatsina_name]

Thanatos chuckles a little. "I was actually here to talk to him," he admits, "But, well..." He lets it trail off with a hopeless sort of shrug. They don't know each other very well, and probably won't at this point, seeing as Meteion was the one who dragged Thanatos over in the first place. Not to mention he can guess why Emet-Selch might be here meeting with him. Seems the man's time in Elpis may be reaching an end.

He looks over through the flowers at the familiar, his braid draped over his shoulder to avoid him laying on it. "I don't know how much of it is which here, honestly," he says, "I don't submit concepts very often, at least not ones meant for here. I'm sure it's plenty complicated." And the type of bureaucratic complicated that he hates, almost certainly.

Which is why the conversation turning more to art makes him smile. "That's why I like it so much," he admits, "There's so much variation in even a single work, and different parts hit differently for different people. And that's before you add in performance interpretations... I've sort of been trying to see how far that can go."

[travelerscurse]

"Oh? Is there anything you can show me?" he probably shouldn't indulge in this. It feels strangely... disingenuous, like he's got the advantages in ways Thanatos cannot understand. But then, there's also so much he doesn't know about what Phillip was like, and seeing him like this...

Well, it turns out that, in any body, he can't resist that smile, or wanting to do things to see more of it.

[whatsina_name]

"You assume it'll work," Thanatos replies with a little laugh, "But... hm..."

He thinks on it for a moment, before he begins to sing, quietly enough that it won't drift too far from their spot but still strong and steady. Gustavain's heard him sing before, many times back in Ishgard, but this time it's different. The likely more immediately noticeable difference is just in his voice- not in the quality of it or tone, that's always been lovely, but as a performer himself Gustavain will be able to tell that there's a richness to it, a fullness and warmth that can only be gained through practice, consistent and focused, over a lifetime. That wouldn't be surprising, except that Phillip doesn't sound like that. Which means before Ishgard, he hadn't sung in a long, long time.

The second takes a little longer to show; the melody starts off smooth and elegant, the sort of song that isn't really meant to do more than fill space, likely the exact sort of thing he would have sung in Gustavain's childhood home. But then partway through, the mood shifts. It's subtle at first, and the elezen may feel the sense of melancholy before he hears it. Thanatos is very careful to not change anything else about his performance except that, and after several moments of this it's very clear: he's manipulating dynamis.

It's a bit clumsy, nowhere near the precision that is wrecking things so thoroughly back home, but that's hardly surprising given that Hermes seems to be the only one who knows it exists and Thanatos is almost certainly not aware that it's an actual force to be wielded. The mood shifts again, before the melancholy becomes too much, the song rounding over into something more soothing, a peaceful and quiet sort of hopefulness to it, to ease any distress that might have been caused as he finishes it up.

[travelerscurse]

It occurs to him, before anything else, that they've never really heard each other perform. They'd sung as children together (well... sort of children together, he supposes) and he's heard Phillip hum or sing a bit while he's been doing other work, but he's never even seen a more mundane performance of Phillip's in an Ishgardian House and Phillip only met him after his tavern days were over.

We've never sung together.

It's maybe not a thought he would normally have had without the shifting sadness of the tune, but once he thinks it, it winds it's way deep and he finds himself listening with a heart that feels heavy and constricted in a way he's not used to. He's not so attuned to Dynamis that he can tell anything about what Thanatos is doing, specifically, simply that he's doing something, and he doesn't even realize that until the pressure eases.

It strikes a chord in him, unsurprisingly, and he's moving without thinking at the end, reaching out and cupping the other young man's face in his hand, his thumb soothing against his cheek, just under one eye,

"All the songs in the world to sing, and you choose a sad one." It's entirely too intimate and he knows that, but dimly, somewhere far away. This is something Phillip would never have shown him and his heart breaks even more knowing that. Who taught him to conceal that? What happened to him that he's never even tried to sing for him...

[whatsina_name]

Those familiar blue eyes stare up at him, a little wide in surprise before the expression softens into a smile. "But, look," he says quietly, reaching out an arm to pluck one of the flowers without moving from the hold. He holds it up between them, the soft pink-purple hue a radiant dose of color against his black robes. "Isn't it even more beautiful now?"

As one who lives and breathes art, Thanatos is well versed in the progression of stories, both the highs and the lows. The contrasts are what build tension and give release, in a way that constant misery or a tale of sheer bliss simply cannot. It's just a pity he can't quite apply that to his life, considering what does happen.

After a long moment, letting them both enjoy the simple light that is a lovely flower in the midst of sadness, he reaches up and tucks it into Gustavain's hair, just behind his ear. "Even prettier, now," he says, with the fond tease of Phillip saying more than just words.

[travelerscurse]

Oh, he is fucked.

It's both so sweet and so familiar and his better judgement is screaming at him that this is not Phillip and he is taking liberties here, not in the sense of it being someone else, but because it also is Phillip. He's seeing something private, something he hasn't been shown, he needs to stop.

But then Thanatos tucks the flower behind his ear right where he usually wears it when he's not flinging himself through time and space and something inside him just cracks in two. There's not really a conscious decision that he's going to lean forward and kiss him, it feels more like he falls forward, but if Thanatos doesn't move, the result is the same.

(He is, thankfully, too dazed to think about whether or not he kisses like Azem, whether or not Thanatos would even know if he did.)

[whatsina_name]

The kiss itself... isn't really a surprise, with how Gustavain has been moving, had touched him so sweetly. Thanatos isn't sure why the familiar has apparently latched onto him so quickly, but he's not really upset about it. What surprises him is the way he's kissed. Gustavain knows how to kiss him and it shows now, sliding perfectly into place where Thanatos would have expected some adjustment, a small learning curve of a new partner's mouth. It sends a shiver through him, and he lets himself fall back on the ground, hands reaching up to hold onto the body above him without fighting for any kind of control (which is absolutely what Phillip would do, didn't intentionally begin giving up control with Gustavain until their feelings were clear).

He leans into the kiss, soft and sweet, and there is something familiar about the way the elezen touches him while still being new. His hands begin a slow survey of his hips and sides, mapping out the shape of him but not reaching for more than this.

[travelerscurse]

Gustavain leans over him, follows him down, and this is where if this were actually Phillip, he'd probably roll up over him to his knees, more to press them closer together than in any bid to hold him down. Here, he just braces a hand in the earth and leans in, slides close. The kiss is heated, even though he's trying to hold something, anything back, but it's still relatively chaste, sweet and gentle. Gustavain makes a soft noise at the way Thanatos shivers, another when one of his hands lands on his hip. Like this, there's not much touching he can do, has to keep himself anchored for leverage with the one hand, but the other stays stroking against his jaw, down his neck.

The kiss, the way he moves, is sensual and knowing, not at all something innocent for all that it's still a lighter kiss, but the way he touches Thanatos is as though he's something delicate and precious, like if he presses too hard with his hand, he'll break apart like a mirage.

[whatsina_name]

With how many barriers around him he pulls up, with how much he tries to keep even Gustavain at a distance sometimes, Gus may not know just how much Phillip enjoys the feeling of being cared for in an intimate matter. They've talked about it a little, more recently, and he's gotten slightly less shy about showing it. But it crystal clear in this moment, an almost wounded noise leaving Thanatos's lips as he feels just how careful the other is being with him.

He tilts his head so he feel better savor the feel of the hand on his neck, already feeling his mind spiraling with how very utterly Gustavain has caught him in just a few moments, with just a kiss and a touch, in the way only a lover who knows him can do it. It probably just makes it all the more difficult to think about stopping as the warrior of light feels the young man underneath him already begin to unravel.

[travelerscurse]

The almost hurt noise has him voicing a reply, a low, pleased rumble that isn't quite a growl, but edges there, a little hungry, clearly liking that sound. He turns the kiss as delicate as the touch, slowly, butterfly light without actually stopping, and it's like that, careful and fine, that he finally deepens the kiss, nibbles against Thanatos's lower lip until it parts just enough to barely brush his tongue against the inside of it.

He feels perhaps a bit bad about how much he's enjoy being allowed to do this, to be so gentle without it being seen as a tease or covered over with a game. He's not used to the feeling of cheating, but he does feel like he's getting away with something here that he shouldn't, even as he's also in free-fall, unable to stop himself.

[whatsina_name]

Stars, Thanatos has no idea what's going on. He's more open than Phillip, freer with his thoughts and emotions both, but even so no one has ever seemed to be able to read him as quickly as this. He thinks he knows who must have made this familiar, because there's only one person who knows his body even half this well and luck seems a poor explanation. (Not to mention that creating a familiar who knows how to make love to him seems like something Azem would do.)

The gentleness of the kiss makes him let out a whimper, a soft and aching plea without begging and further showing Gustavain just how thoroughly he's pleasing the young Ancient. The slight withdrawal makes the first brush of tongues all the sweeter, Thanatos's hands finding firmer grip as he tilts his body up into it.

[travelerscurse]

Oh. Oh he wants more of that desperately. He's always loved pleasing his partners, whatever role that's required him to take or act he's required to perform. He has his own preferences, of course, but almost none of them get him to a fever pitch so fast as this, seeing someone arch in a pleasure he's created, voice their enjoyment at his touch.

Every soft noise Thanatos makes gets a low, answering one, hungry, and then eventually one of his own, aching and content both when Gustavain gives in and actually slides deeper into his mouth, still keeping the kiss warm and slow despite feeling like he's going to shake out of his bones with it.

There has always been something resonant about Phillip the few times where Gustavain has convinced him to channel his Ascian/Ancient self more fully. He's always thought some of that was caught up in the darkness, the weird opposing forces they act under. More recently, he's thought that it had something to do with him being a shard of Azem, a forgotten memory etched into his spirit, calling out for him. Maybe that's still it, certainly he actually still presumes that's it, and the reason it's so strong is because this is a Thanatos at the height of his power, of course his own soul would recognize that more strongly... but if he had known what Thanatos had been channeling was dynamis...

[whatsina_name]

Perhaps there's a reason that out of the Unsundered that Phillip- that Thanatos- was less likely to pick apart the flaws of these new forms of men, that he was uncomfortable with viewing them as lesser and tools to achieve a goal. He is still made up of the same things as the other Ancients, still containing far more aether than any other being on their star, but he's also always been someone whose feelings cannot be contained, always threaten to boil over even when he tries his best to hide them. But when he's not pretending to be something he's not, where the feelings are truly laid to bare, perhaps it's only logical that beings more influenced by dynamis would feel the effects of his truth.

This is quickly turning into a fantastical feedback loop of pleasure, the hungry noises spurring the young man on even more. He wants to be wanted, for someone to be hungry for him, and combining that with the clear care he's been shown is threatening to wash him away. He moans into the deeper kiss, another shudder forcing through his body, and he almost can't take this anymore. The need to touch is killing him, so one of his hands unclenches enough to slide down Gustavain's body, slipping under the cloth of his shirt to brush over the arch of his back.

[travelerscurse]

Moreover, they match-- this feedback loop where they, deep down, want the same things or complimentary things, is not confined to this instant. With both of them wanting, deeply, to give the same things the other wants, deeply, to have, is it any wonder with even the barest hint of dynamis they might all but combust with it?

Back in their current times, it's tempered somewhat by Phillip's experience and age and scars and Gustavain's duty. Here, Thanatos is unfettered by that and Gustavain feels cracked open by what he's just seen, vulnerable in a way he rarely is back home save for intense moments. It licks between them like wildfire, fast and unstoppable. They're both shuddering in each other's arms, Gustavain moaning softly but more like something far more intimate when Thanatos slides his hand up his spine, the kiss deepening reflexively, finally, hunger winning over care for the moment.

He's dimly aware they're still in public, that they still have their clothes on, that they've barely touched, that this has only been going on for mere moments, but mostly, he's entirely in free-fall.

[whatsina_name]

This has escalated far too fast, to the point that Thanatos might realize that he should have been concerned over it in a while, but right now he's entirely too caught up in it. Everything Gustavain does seems to be fanning a flame inside of him, and even though they didn't know each other an hour ago, even though they've been touching barely a minute, he already knows he won't be satisfied with just this.

His hand begins to greedily touch what skin he can, rucking up the other man's shirt before he seems to remember as well that all that conceals them is a bed of flowers. He makes a vague sort of flourish with his free hand, covering them in a concealment spell, before reaching out and aiming to pull Gustavain more firmly on top of him.

[travelerscurse]

He knows enough magic to feel that spell, to know what that means, and he shudders with the knowledge, voice gone breathless,

"O-" he starts, but it bleeds more into an ohhhh for a moment, his weight settling on the other man fully, distracting him for a moment, "Out here?" he rolls his hips down into the body underneath him, clear that the question is more for clarity than to protest, "Won't someone know something's wrong?" he leans down, mouths without a thought at the perfect spot on Thanatos's neck, bites with a firm, perfect pressure a moment later, "I wouldn't want you to get in trouble when you're being so nice to me," he rumbles it out and he's glad his face is hidden, because it's the kind of teasing he would do with Phillip to get the other squirming, but he's actually got no idea how that's going to land, here.

[whatsina_name]

Luckily, it seems to have the same sort of effect here- Thanatos makes a delighted sort of squirm, arching up into him. It seems that some tastes of his have stayed the same across time. "Ah--" he gasps at the bite, hold tightening, wanting more of the sensation, "It's subtle. T-the only people who could tell would know better." The point is to conceal, after all, and in a society that can largely perceive aether it would do no good for that to be a giveaway. And really, given the reason he was out here, the keen-eyed pair would probably be relieved he found himself a distraction.

His hands are no longer content with just the exploration of what they've been able to reach, and so concealed under their little bubble, he begins to work at Gustavain's clothes- though unfamiliar as it is, he might wind up needing help eventually.

[travelerscurse]

Well, if Thanatos isn't bothered, then he isn't either. There's a little voice in the back of his head that wonders if, somewhere out there, there's a place where people love more openly, somewhere where he could drag Phillip and do this properly, out in full view of everyone, where they wouldn't get arrested or worse. He's pretty sure, given the reaction to the little outing with the Allagan tech before, that all he would have to do is suggest it...

But most of his mind is focused on the here and now, slowly turning the skin of Thanatos's neck into a constellation with his mouth. He's become familiar enough with the typical robes in his time here, though he'd changed back into his normal clothes to fight, and loosening Thanatos's clothes is easy enough, gives him more skin to taste and mark. He'll mostly let Thanatos figure his out, though each time he feels a clasp open, he'll help by shrugging out of as much of it as he can.

Sooner rather than later, Thanatos is going to find the bit that just more or less makes all the bits fall off of him, though he's still wearing leggings and boots underneath. Gustavain shows no hesitation in shucking all of it off of himself the moment it's possible, though, leaving him half undressed, trusting that if Thanatos says they're not going to get caught, they're not.

[whatsina_name]

(Oh, even arrest doesn't concern Phillip- more Gustavain's fame. Escaping authority wouldn't be an issue, really, if it weren't for the fact that there are fewer and fewer places that wouldn't know the Warrior of Light by sight.)

The robe is shed easily, Thanatos slipping his arms from the sleeves once it's undone enough so they don't encumber his own efforts. There is certainly a sense of accomplishment when most of Gustavain's outfit falls, his hands greedily drawing over the newly exposed skin- though is difficult to do much, given how he's (very willingly) trapped under the other's body, neck angled in such a way to allow him access to whatever skin his mouth desires.

Thus do said hands find their way lower, familiar enough with how leggings are meant to work that that is far easier, peeling them down and any undergarments with them.

[travelerscurse]

He has to move a bit to deal with his boots, but in this particular outfit they're easy enough to remove (he sends a tiny thank you to the Fury, whether she can hear him here or not, that he hadn't been in his Dark Knight armor and that this is more like clothing instead. The end result is therefore less a frustrating cessation while he fumbles with his clothing and more a chance for him to very clearly let Thanatos look at him.

He's never been particularly proud of his body in the sense that he's done nothing to specifically make it look the way it does, but he's aware that he's attractive to most people and aware, here, that he must seem terribly exotic just for all of the scars. He looks back as well, of course, and does nothing to disguise the want in his expression, to see Thanatos laid out against the flowers, hair mussed and half undressed.

If he's used this time to get anything else he's wearing off or not, Gustavain closes the distance by sliding his hands under Thanatos's thighs, sweeping from his flank up to his knees in a way that's not violent or demanding, but fervent all the same, pushing his knees up and his thighs apart in a casual display of strength.

"How do you want me?" it's expertly done, the sureness and authority of the motion a moment before turning the question into something low and teasing rather than submissive in any way. It's also made at least one of his preferences plain-- familiar or not, wherever this is coming from, he's both mentally and physically (as long as Phillip doesn't use magic, of course) capable of holding him down and fucking him.

[whatsina_name]

Thanatos definitely takes the time to appreciate the view in front of him, a hand sliding up to touch over the scars like Phillip tends to but with a degree of fascination to it. It is not the first time Gustavain has seen this form, lithe and pale and utterly unmarred, but there's something more natural to it in the moment that has some to do with the way their tussling has effected him and much more to do with this being who he currently is, rather than a callback to an era long past.

He makes the hottest little noise when Gustavain pulls him up, instinctively pressing back into the ground with his head and shoulders. That may well be a surprise, because even now Phillip has a hard time letting loose his control over sex. While they have moved past the point where he would stubbornly hold it for the entire affair, he still doesn't cede it immediately, turning to goading his lover to see just how fast he can reel him in, 'force' Gustavain's hand and make him take him. Here, there is no pushback, no teasing, and in the way Thanatos sighs it is clear that this is one of his preferences too.

"Fuck me," he says, and it's far too sweet and earnest to be a demand, much more like a plea. For all that his whimsy makes people think him simple, Thanatos is actually constantly in thought, often lost in his own head in a myriad of endless possibilities. Taking the lead in sex is a way to give his thoughts focus, stop them from spiraling out of control. Having a lover who knows how hold him down and fuck him is the only way to make them stop, gifting him with a blissful peace and quiet.

[travelerscurse]

"With pleasure," he murmurs back, low and eager. Whatever else has to be done to get them both naked is happening right now, and if Gustavain has to help get Thanatos's pants down, he's definitely not bothering to get them off both of his legs, just the one, just enough that he can get them back to where they were.

He doesn't know everything about even Phillip's preferences or his reasons for them, but he does know what's going on in his own head when he makes noises like that, makes that kind of plea in that tone, and he's more than happy to follow that to it's logical conclusion.

"Do you have oil?" he'll figure something out if Thanatos doesn't or is too far gone to create some, but he's not waiting for a response before he's shifting down to slide his mouth over his cock. It's another place where he makes who he is connected to blindingly "obvious", because he knows the perfect amount of pressure here, precisely how to drag his tongue against sensitive skin to cause shivers of pleasure. Given the opportunity, he's almost ruthless with it, though never cruel, chasing the noises Thanatos makes.

[whatsina_name]

Oh, right. Gustavain's a "familiar," so Thanatos is definitely going to be in charge of anything they might need. It's a little weird, just how easy it is to forget that. He blames Azem. He starts to answer, but the words turn into a gasp in his throat as the man sinks down on him, entirely too easily turning him right back into a puddle.

That he definitely blames on Azem.

It takes him a minute to get back on track, seemingly everything Gustavain does pulling more of those noises out of him, but eventually he manages enough thought to conjure up a little bottle of oil in between their two hands. Though he is also more than happy to let the man do what he likes without rushing anything, even as he squirms beneath him.