travelerscurse: (Default)
travelerscurse ([personal profile] travelerscurse) wrote2021-04-09 03:10 pm

for whatsina_name

It's so strange, being back.

Ishgard hasn't changed in hundreds of years, strange to think it would have changed since he'd been here last, but then, everywhere else he'd been has changed just in the time he's been there. So it's strange to be walking streets he knows from his childhood but with eyes that are so different.

Beside him, Emmanelain chatters on about the different facets of city life. He had made sure Haurchefant knew to petition his former family with as much discretion as possible. They, of course, had simply said their son had died and they were certain some fugitive from Uldah couldn't be him anyway. He hadn't expected any differently. He feels like that person is dead and he breathes on as someone wholly different anyway, but it's strange, to be being shown around the place he grew up in by a member of one of the High Houses, someone his parents would have killed for him to be friends with just a few short years earlier, as though he were a stranger to this place.

He has always been a stranger to this place.

Dressed in Gridanian fashion and tanned lightly by the sun, he doesn't expect there's anyone here who would recognize him. He'd been barely more than a ghost when he left, hardly a warrior of anything. But as they pass through the Jeweled Croizer and Emmanelain gets caught up talking to some girl he's been trying to woo, there's a sudden, strange sensation at the back of his head, something like and unlike the Echo, and he turns, eyes scanning the busy street for... something. Someone.

(For some reason, unbidden, he remembers the night of the Calamity, giant pieces of some other part of Eorzea raining from the sky..
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-25 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Phillip almost winds up doing nothing, or at least as good as, with how thoroughly Gustavain takes command of the field. He can honestly say he's never seen him like this, and while he hasn't personally tagged along as a helper in one of his fights yet, he has seen him in battle, both as a bard and a healer. The man in front of him now is still recognizably him, but most of that recognization is only to his face. He's never seen him move quite like, fight like that. He's certainly never seen him take that kind of mad, wild joy in the midst of battle.

The silence stretches between them for a moment, the soft drip against the sand barely adding to the sea of red that stretches around them. It's horrible, all of it, but Phillip finds he can't tear his eyes away. "...Are you alright?" he asks after a moment, catching his breath. He's asking about his wounds. He is not asking about his wounds.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Curious])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-25 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Phillip's eyes narrow slightly at the title, the way the man moves, but-- no, it is still Gustavain, despite any reading to the contrary. He's not possessed, not exactly, but there has been a shift of some sort. The same soul, but being fed by something else.

He doesn't back away, stands straight and holds his ground as the figure approaches, allows his head to be tipped up and tries not to shudder with the feel of leather across his lips. "If you think that's the kind of thing that would worry me," he says, his voice as dry as ever, "then clearly you don't know me quite as well as I thought."

He has lived most of his life bathed in darkness, still does in many ways for all he's surrounded by those who champion the light. But as he well knows, no soul is made purely of light or of darkness, the aether within them all could not survive under such an imbalance, so even the bright souls have some of it in them. What does concern him is how split it seems to be in Gustavain, where one side hardly resembles the other at all.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-25 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
There might be some words for Gustavain after this, trying to figure out why it's like this, why he seems so divided within himself. Phillip can guess, but it can't be healthy, something he knows only too well from his own experience. But he doubts talking to this particular aspect of him will yield much use, the part being hidden rather than doing the hiding. And it's possible there's another explanation, but he'll only know if he asks.

And, if he's honest, having a conversation about it now would be difficult for him too- he tries to stay still, but there's an instinct in him that makes him tip his head ever so slightly back as the hand presses against his throat, staying well within his orbit.

He's said it before: that sense of freedom is a very good look on him.

Phillip doesn't make any move to pull away from the hold on his hip, cocking his head slightly as he lifts a hand up to rest on the other's shoulder. "I feel like you should know that by now, too," he says, but in reality, maybe this is part of that conversation he's been putting off, "I have no intention of running."

Maybe he should have. Maybe they both should have. Maybe that night in the Forgotten Knight should have been the end of it. But it wasn't, and Phillip has stayed by him for this long; having a hidden 'dark side' certainly won't scare him off now.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-25 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah. That's what he means, then?

Phillip isn't expecting violence, exactly, but with the way Gustavain is moving he certainly expected something harsher, the bite of teeth or a rougher hold. He's braced for it, which makes it all the more surprising when it turns out to be something much warmer. There's a soft noise of something, perhaps realization, before he relaxes into it, softening under the sheer affection of it, a hand coming up to rest on his cheek. It hindsight, it makes sense. He's certainly been trying to hide this. He just hadn't entirely realized he might not have been the only one.

When he's released from the kiss, or allowed to pull away, he doesn't drift far. Just far enough to lift his eyes to those glowing yellow ones, considering them. "And if I stopped running?" he asks. Would you stop too?
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
His clothes are going to be absolutely ruined, and whenever they get on to finishing their task they are going to greatly alarm anyone waiting for them. Of course, Phillip isn't really thinking about that right, or how this really isn't the time or place for this conversation. It's very hard to think about much of anything, and with how close he is Gustavain will definitely feel the full body shudder when he says mine.

They've danced around this the way they have with everything else, dropping the words here and there during sex but never outside of it. Separated from momentary passion, there's no way to deny that that's what he wants, and no way to brush off the fact that at least part of Gustavain means it. His hands move up to cup his face, and when their lips meet the kiss is tender, soft but without holding anything back- a kiss of someone who is very much in love.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Phillip knows quite well that this is not going to be the end of it. Even if he's made decisions, he hasn't talked about them yet, and there is the lingering issue of how everyone else is going to react when he comes clean and likely some other problems as well. Not to even mention Gustavain's frustrating habit of throwing himself headlong into danger. But if he's come this far, entangled himself in the lives of those who would see this world safe, he at least wants to see them safe.

The possession inherent in the kiss does not dissuade him at all, if anything he seems to melt a little underneath it. For as old as he is, how he feels is quite new to him, something that tugs a bit more at the part of his soul that is mortal. It is easier to forget that there is anything beyond the two of them, anything outside of this moment, as he leans into the kiss and all but clings onto him.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Smile])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
That gets Phillip to roll his eyes, in that fond way he often does, but he does not resist the pull, wraps his own around the elezen’s shoulders. “As if that was all this was about,” he says, but he’s smiling as he does. They both know it’s not. But they both know it’s not entirely unrelated, either.

He reaches a hand up to smooth through Gustavain’s hair, a familiar gesture up with an edge to it that doesn’t usually come up in their quieter moments. It’s usually in the throws of something else, usually attached that near dangerous tone of mine that they always pretend he didn’t say after the fact. Of the two of them right now, Gustavain is certainly putting more of what is happening to words, but that doesn’t mean Phillip isn’t saying It.

“We were supposed to be doing something,” he comments casually as his fingers brush through the knots created by battle. It is just as much of an offer to forestall it a bit longer as continue. It’s not like it was horribly urgent...
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
If he wants more of those things, he’s certainly doing all the right things to get them. They haven’t played with this much, and maybe Gustavain assumed Phillip wouldn’t want to, but for all his posturing and plays for control there’s no denying that he’s more than happy here, being manhandled and teased to the other’s whims.

His breath staggers again when Gustavain tells him what’s coming, a heat that probably shouldn’t be there rising in him in response. He shifts just each to trace over his jawline, something about the touch hungry even as he fights to keep the rest of his body still. “Well, you’ve already made an absolute mess of my clothes,” he says, his dramatics a little less potent for how breathless he is, “What else would there be to complain about?”
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Knock the wind from him it does, his head spinning as he gasps for air and winces at the renewed pain from his earlier wounds. He doesn’t have time to pull himself up before Gustavain does, a strangled sort of noise escaping his throat as his mind is temporarily overwhelmed. This is not Gustavain-like behavior. He’s having a hard time finding the spirit to care.

His body stills considerably when the bite find him, a slight tremble through him as his arms fight to keep him lifted. Under his teeth, Gustavain will have no trouble feeling how quickly Phillip’s heart is beating, pulse like a drum through a mix of pain, some fear, and so, so much desires. “Gods,” he managed to gasp out, not sure he’s coherent enough to say more but the sentiment coming through loud and clear.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
He doesn’t need to show Phillip anything, not really- even if he won’t admit it, he knows just how much he’s willing to give, and the answer is everything he’d want and more. The only reason he hasn’t openly helped out before is that Gustavain didn’t ask. Even before he’s fully made up his mind he would have said yes, and did plenty in the background to supply help that couldn’t be traced to him. Had this happened earlier, it may have been harder to accept, more difficult to give up control, but in this moment? The vulnerability feels easy.

He tips his head down, the scent of blood mingling strongly with the smell of the oil and that should be far more disconcerting than it is. His arms are still braced against the ground to at least keep his face out of the dirt as much as possible, but even if Gustavain pushes him further he won’t fight it. For the moment he’s quiet, breathing ragged and seeming to just try and clear his head.
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-26 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
As planned, that press of the finger inside of him shatters his thought process once again, Phillip making a noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan. It doesn't hurt thanks to how much oil is being used, but it is tight and certainly pulls his focus away from literally anything else, especially once Gustavain starts moving it.

His hands making grasping motions at the ground, wanting to hold onto something but finding nothing suitable. Were they facing each other, it's very easy to imagine him tangling them up in Gus's hair, holding on for dear life. But he's currently being denied even that, and the lack of anything to hold onto makes them, and him by extension, more restless and searching. (In his current state, it's probably not hard to imagine just how much 'worse' it would be if he actually couldn't move them.)
whatsina_name: (Phillip [Listening])

[personal profile] whatsina_name 2021-05-27 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Gustavain might be sure that it's alright, but Phillip is not. For all that he is accustomed to performing, he is very much not used to this kind of attention focused all on him. Which isn't to say he doesn't or won't enjoy it, but allowing himself to just feel is something he's still working on in more ways than one.

Luckily, what he is feeling is enough to override any worries he might have and most of the inhibitions that remain. The press of that second finger elicits a moan, and perhaps paradoxically it does get him to relax and still more (though he will absolutely keep that offer of tying him down in mind for later). His front is absolutely stained with blood and dirt at this point, but that is the farthest thing possible from his mind as each push and pull of those fingers starts pulling softer noises from him.
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