Had Gustavain phrased the question differently, he would have gotten a different answer- Hades definitely loved him, though how far it extended, how physical that love got, Phillip doesn't know. It wouldn't have surprised him to learn that they had been together.
This question is far more dangerous, for both of them. Phillip doesn't brace himself for it even as he knows it's coming, a hand gently stroking through the other's hair as he focuses on each of those marks. He's not sure why. To ground himself, maybe? To remind himself that they've made their choices, that the past doesn't matter other than to inform what's to come?
He opens his mouth to answer the question as soon as it's asked, the words forestalled by a needy hum when Gustavain takes him in. "Y-yes," he manages to get out, and the flood of emotions he knew was coming breaks through, past the walls he's tried to build up since this star was young and new.
There's the soaring feeling of remembering what it had been like, to fall truly and deeply in love for the first time, making all of what came before and much of what came after seem shallow. There's the pain and fear of the Final Days, where Azem was just gone and he didn't know whether he'd ever see him again. And there's the confusion and guilt of when the world was sundered, one of only four left untouched and the only one not of the fourteen, why me, why not one of the others, why not Azem--
His hold on Gustavain tightens, closing his eyes to stop the wetness forming behind them escaping.
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This question is far more dangerous, for both of them. Phillip doesn't brace himself for it even as he knows it's coming, a hand gently stroking through the other's hair as he focuses on each of those marks. He's not sure why. To ground himself, maybe? To remind himself that they've made their choices, that the past doesn't matter other than to inform what's to come?
He opens his mouth to answer the question as soon as it's asked, the words forestalled by a needy hum when Gustavain takes him in. "Y-yes," he manages to get out, and the flood of emotions he knew was coming breaks through, past the walls he's tried to build up since this star was young and new.
There's the soaring feeling of remembering what it had been like, to fall truly and deeply in love for the first time, making all of what came before and much of what came after seem shallow. There's the pain and fear of the Final Days, where Azem was just gone and he didn't know whether he'd ever see him again. And there's the confusion and guilt of when the world was sundered, one of only four left untouched and the only one not of the fourteen, why me, why not one of the others, why not Azem--
His hold on Gustavain tightens, closing his eyes to stop the wetness forming behind them escaping.