Gustavain pauses for a moment, considering. It's not that there's any hesitation in him now, it's that how this is phrased is important, at least to him. He doesn't want there to be a misunderstanding, doubt. He slides his hand up Phillip's side, back down, contemplative for a moment.

"I don't know why it is that you prefer to be known as mortal man when all of the others are almost disgusted by us. Perhaps I should be more concerned about that than I am but..." he shrugs, "your reasons are your own and can remain that way if you wish. If that's what you want, I would not wish you to be uncomfortable in our time together or make you feel as though I only saw you as an enemy. But..." this is the harder part, he takes a deep breath, "you are an Ascian. My being here is stupid, foolish, the worst thing I could possibly think to do at best and a betrayal of everyone else on this journey with me at worst." He reaches up as he says it, lays his fingers against Phillip's mouth, the touch half stopping him from saying anything and half a soft caress against his lips.

"I'm going to do it anyway, you understand. I want to do it anyway. But I need to do so with my eyes open. Just once is enough, but just once, I need you to be as you are, or as much of that as is possible with you like this."

"After that, we need never speak of it again, if you wish. But just the once, I need to know. I need to see."