travelerscurse: (Default)
travelerscurse ([personal profile] travelerscurse) wrote 2023-04-13 05:05 pm (UTC)

Re: major EW spoilers

"Rest sounds lovely," is what he says, but the tone of his voice, the almost desperate tint to it, says that he's having similar thoughts about how to even attempt to rest given what he's seeking solace from. He'd feel guilty about taking the time to rest if there was anything, anything at all that he could actually do right now. But he's done what he does best, flung himself headlong into something only he could do and see and experience, and brought back the knowledge for everyone else. Now it was their turn for a while-- he's an excellent tactician once he has something to fight, a set of known variables. But the research and deep thinking and problem solving that is likely going on in his wake is not something he will have any meaningful contribution to. They will come up with a crazy plan that relies on him being crazy and he will do whatever it is.

If he was anyone else, perhaps that would feel belittling or exhausting. He does have some Thoughts about how much he occasionally is used as a weapon or a tool rather than a person, and he's learned not to bury those too deep, lest they consume him again. But truthfully, most times, he's grateful that this is the part he can play and not any of the others. Even when he's threadbare to the core, he'd rather be here than in there trying to figure out how to make sense of what's next.

"Do you remember your time in Elpis much at all?" he finally says, because there is something else to deal with here, something that doesn't have the fate of the world hanging on it.

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